twIT girl.

Auditt.jpgWe pull up to the twenty four hour grocery, me and my Right Honourable friend, in my bird poop splattered bumper-less little Civic. I just need fags and maybe a loaf of bread – shouldn't take long. As I head to the store's entrance I take note of the four illegally parked vehicles in front of us in this order: An Audi tt, a BMW X5, a Porche Cayenne and (almost jutting into the intersection) and a Mercedes ML 350.

The cars are no surprise. The street where they're parked borders three very tony neighbourhoods; Yorkville, the Annex and lower Forest Hill.

Still, the store itself is no Pusatari's being more often a tad filthy and a little smelly though it still manages to be over-priced. And it's not uncommon to see some down-and-outers, having migrated uptown, loitering in the store for protection against whatever weather threatens them.

BMW X5.jpgBut it can be hard to differentiate the over privileged from the less fortunate souls as the wealthy patrons are just as likely to wear a pair of old sweats and an overcoat (often as not hiding their pajama tops). No risk being spotted by anyone important at this hour and even if there was, surely it would be understood that black tie was not required for a trip to the corner store.

Then there's the young woman holding up the lineup to the cash -five persons deep with me near the end. I can't even begin to estimate the amount of money she was wearing on her person. Not to mention the expensive haircut, the manicured hands and the perfect skin with a healthy, and no doubt costly,and completely even tan. Very convincingly blond.Trim, fit and in any circle; beautiful.

porschecayenne_3lg.jpgWhile she's futzing at the cash, I was trying to figure out who in the line-up was driving what. That is until her shrill, girlish voice alerted me to trouble.

Now she's hassling the cashier. "This bottled water is chilled. Everyone knows that cold water is bad for you.Water should always be at room temperature. Everybody knows that. Right?" She looks to the cashier who isn't arguing with anyone.

"RIGHT!?" She points to the guy behind me in line but he says he has no idea.

She's probably frustrated but flashes a fake smile of perfect teeth anyway.Time for plan B I guess.

This really is taking too long. Perhaps her intention. Everyone is fidgeting now. She declares she will take the bottled water anyway and then starts fiddling with a can of whipped cream. She shakes it, looking around to make sure her audience is with her.

After removing the cap she holds the can up to the cashier."Taste it." Nobody moves. Nobody even breathes.

mercedesml350.jpgThe cashier might have said "um" or "I don't…" but really he didn't have chance. Blondie reaches out, grabs his arm and squishes out a small pile of cream into his hand.Stunned silence from everyone, especially the young cashier.

"Taste it!"
And, with the saddest, most humiliated expression I've seen in a while he did just that.

"Well!?"

He says it seems fine and everyone exhales as Blondie puts the cap back on the cream.

"Yeah, I thought it was OK"

Whaaa?She thought it was OK? So why humiliate the cashier?

Now even I am ready to say something."Why didn't you just check the expiry date?" To which I get no response beyond a mischievous grin. But I was feeling righteous so I pressed on."OK, so maybe it was bad despite the expiry date but why make him taste the stuff? You admitted you thought it was OK"

Deadpan."Because I don't HAVE to put anything in my mouth. Why should I? He did it for me".

I had already seen the Audi take off with someone else in it. By the time I got to my car the BMW was occupied by another patron and puling away. The only car that remained was the Benz which meant that devil-girl had the Porche.

In the store she looked as though she had bestowed a privilege on me for having been responded to in actual words. And she wasn't kidding either. In her world she really didn't have to do anything she could order someone else to do.

Let them eat Cake! Porche! Cayenne!

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